Dear Belleruth,
I'm feeling anxious about the economy, worrying about losing my job, my health insurance, etc. etc. I don't want to dwell on this, as I believe that my thoughts could manifest the very events I'm worrying about.
Any tools, affirmations, guided imagery to help with this?
Thanks,
Kathy
Answer:
Dear Kathy,
I’m so glad you asked this in the way that you did. It gives me a chance to hopefully offer some reassurance and at the same time, rant and carry on about one of my favorite pet peeves.
First off, let me say that I’m sorry you’re faced with these very real concerns. These are dicey times and no way am I minimizing this aspect of your question. A lot of really good, capable people are in this worrisome situation with you.
All we can do is try to control what we can – mobilizing this worry
into beefing up job performance, trying to make yourself as
indispensible to the boss as possible, keeping work relationships in
good working order and building in as many alternative, just-in-case
options as you can. After doing everything possible (with your actions
and your general demeanor) to create the best possible outcome, it’s up
to the gods and the fates, and it’s best to just let it go. This is
easier to do when you know you’ve done all you could.
But as for this notion that if you worry, you’ll create the events
you’re worrying about – well, that’s just not right… nor fair to
yourself. It’s hard enough to have the worries. To then be worried
about your worries… well, that’s more worry than anyone needs.
That’s like so many people fearing that if they worry about getting
cancer, they’ll get it - a level of child-like thinking, to assume
we’re so powerful, that our momentary thoughts could transmute into
concrete events in real time. Maybe years and years, layers and layers
of thoughts and resulting actions could – but a transient phase of
worry? I don’t think so.
So now we get to my pet peeve: what you’re describing is the negative
mirror of the simplistic, insulting, new age notion being touted on TV
and everywhere else lately, that we can wish/positive-think ourselves
into love, money, success and happiness. This is spiritual
materialism!! Do not be seduced by such drivel !! It’s the road to
magical thinking – the kind 2 year olds do (only for them, it’s
developmentally appropriate).
For instance, take the notion: “if I meditate and think good thoughts,
I’ll be thin!”. Really? How about instead: if I meditate, I’ll be
more centered and clear, more connected to my inner self and the
Universe as a whole. This may shift my biochemistry in such a way that
I could be less compulsive with my eating. It may give me more energy,
which I might want to channel into walking every day. This in turn
might increase my muscle mass, which would beef up my metabolism… you
see where I’m going with this…. If you want to be thin, positivity
alone is unlikely to do it. There need to be resultant behaviors.
We are complex beings living complex lives. A lot of things interact
to create a reality. That goes for worry, too. Channel your worry
into positive, functional behaviors, then let it go, if you can. But
please remember that a little worry never killed anybody.
In the meantime, our Affirmations, Self-Confidence imagery or the marvelous Mary Sise’s Thought Field Therapy exercises on DVD might be
just the ticket to get you over the hump and redirect your mind from
unnecessary, non-functional worry.
I hope this helps. Go forth and good luck!
All best,
Belleruth
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great response to her question! although I have read a lot of the 'think positive' stuff, many of the writers/bloggers/etc. also say that just thinking positive thoughts is not the only thing a person can do; they also include taking it further-like you just did in your response. thinking positive can lead to that person doing positive things to meet their goal(s). I would hope that people are not just sitting there thinking positive but are also doing and being positive.
thank you!
... written by Beth,
June 19, 2012
You go, Belleruth! A great answer, and a clear line of reasoning.
... written by Eileen,
June 19, 2012
You are spot on Ruth with your response ! The world is nutty enough to add on that thinking negative thought s or worries will create it!And I also agree about the positive thinking as well. It needs the resultant behaviour to link along-otherwise you have wishful no where thinking!!!!
... written by Daniel,
June 20, 2012
Belleruth, Thank you very much for the clarifying comments on what you label "spiritual materialism". "The Secret" and other programs make it appear you can give yourself disease from thoughts and access financial abundance by thinking about it! Until you, I have heard no one of national stature challenge those ideas! Thank you for doing that, Belleruth! I love the book "Anti-Cancer by Dr. Servan-Schreiber in which he, a two time survivor of cancer gives evidence that inflammatory processes my trigger cancer. You can do any number of things to lower the risk of inflammation but he never says that will protect you from all risk of harm. I appreciate the very balanced views of both of you.
... written by bb,
June 21, 2012
Hi BR and thanks so much for this. Recently someone quoted to me the stat that "women with an ACE score of 4 or more are almost 9 times more likely to become victims of rape and 5 times more likely to become victims of domestic violence than women with a score of 0". The person told me that the reason is because of how our thoughts effect our energy and that we draw these sits to us. As a woman with an ACE score of 8 who decided at a very early age that she would never again be a victim, who has been blessed with 30 yrs of domestic peace with a remarkable husband/best friend, who has not been raped as an adult, and who worked hard to learn new lessons and to create my own life/reality, I had no cogent response from a trained/respected professional until now. Thankyou!
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thank you!